I have been sad. Part of it comes from being far-sick. I have been able to Whatsapp my friends in Scotland, Jordan, and Finland in the last week and I’m suddenly missing them a lot. The other part comes from working a lot of hours and wanting a social life but not having time. So I become lonely and sad. I hate being sad. I hate having to put on a false front as well, but I’m choosing to be sad because sometimes 20 year old lost girls need to wallow in self pity for a day. That was yesterday.
I’m over it.
I am now choosing to not be sad. I won’t pretend to be happy, but having stopped dwelling on the boo-hoo side of life, I may notice the woo-hoo moments that walk by. I am very thankful for the things I’ve gotten to do but I tend to dumb them down rather than making sound as awesome as I thought they were.
For example, I was kind of sad because anyone male in my life at the moment is either 30+ or confusing and annoying and avoiding me.
Also, Three different people told me in one day that I was “Different. not sure if its a good or bad different.”
Also, my frienimies are travelling and I’m not.
However, since sadness and self pity is no longer a feeling I am allowed today
I’m kinda okay because I live two houses down from a fire-department so I try to run in the mornings while they are cleaning their trucks. You should note, checking out firemen and running should be done at separate times. The lamp post just past the station and I have met a few times now.
Also, I was homeschooled. That’s my excuse for being strangely awkward yet poised.
Also, I traveled alone and met cool people I still keep in touch with. The other girls travelled through all-expense-paid resorts and went out at night exactly where the travel guides told them to.
There. Sadness is gone. My roommate just walked around the kitchen silently in a snuggie before staring at me and saying “I feel ridiculous. How do people make money off these things?” That brought a smile to my face as well.
Why should I feel sad? Ignore the whole “I Just WANT toooooooooo” whine. Let’s be happy.
Stay smiley, world.
All my love, Sarah