I have multiple note taking areas, one of which is in my laptop. I found this today and realized it is exactly how I am.
“I’m aware that I can talk a lot; however, when it comes to talking about feelings, I suddenly turn mute. I am a writer because that way I can edit and cut and paste and quote and correct and study things until they are exactly how I mean them to be. When I talk, I just blurt things out. Its like an awkward moment of food poisoning where it just suddenly hits you and you start throwing up and then you dry heave for half an hour. That’s how I get when I talk about feelings. I puke up all the opinions and its a giant mess easily misconstrued, and then I dry heave, trying to get it all out and fix whatever my vomit just ruined.
What a horrible metaphor. I made vomit a metaphor for love.
If that right there doesn’t show you how terrible I am at discussing feelings, I don’t know what will. ”