My Biggest Flaw.

   Lately I have been thinking about putting together a fresh resume. 
  I can not for the life of me figure out how to make that an accented ‘e’ so that the word will change from “continuing to do” into “a formal listing of past experience applicable to a job. I spent 30 seconds attempting to highlight it and find other options and nothing was changing so I sighed. This brings me to my topic: my biggest flaw. Often at job interviews one will be asked “What are your strengths/ weaknesses?” Although I’m aware I have plenty, as do we all, I have realized my worst is sighing. 

  Perhaps it would be better worded as “grumbling”, “venting”, or “whining” but I don’t know that I whine except for maybe three times a year when I am so tired and cried out that its my only sad release. I do vent but this isn’t just getting something off my chest, its more like venting about how busy I am and then sorting my schedule out and suddenly talking about how much free time I have. That almost comes across as grumbling but I know that I do tend to be happy about things, I just seem to want people to know my life. (Hence, the journal-like blog. So maybe its none of the above, maybe I’m just looking for attention. Even that doesnt seem like the right word.

   I used “sighing” because thats how I deliver my news despite it being with a smile. I put on a brave face, stress myself out by worrying about thing I cannot control, and then when someone says “how was your day?”, I sigh, smile, and spill all about my hectic schedule. Then, with a shrug and an even bigger smile I sigh “Well, that’s just life I guess, eh? It’ll sort itself out soon!” and I hop off singing and laughing. It’s recently starting to hit me that I’m super annoying! Why am I telling people things that people don’t care about and lamenting about it, make people feel sorry for my crazy life, and then I shrug it off? That’s not fair to them, it does horrible things to my storytelling reputation ( actually, it lives up to my storytelling reputation), and it doesn’t make me feel any better because I’ve just given super unnecessary information to someone who really couldn’t care less.

   So, I’m going to try a month of no sighing. Especially when I’m telling about good happy things that have made me tired. I will not sigh and smile at the same time. Unless its after a really amazing run. (I have terrible shin splints lately that flame up even walking at work, so the day I can run a 5 k in 25 minutes again I will be exhausted and very happy and then I will sigh and smile and beam.) I’m not even going to make a deadline for this, I’m just going to take it day by day and give myself a mental check when someone asks me how I am or how my day is going. They are being polite, not friendly. They don’t need all the rambling.  

Find perspective, world. 
All my love, 

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