To Be More Like Her

I’d like to be more like her.
More athletic, more focused on my goals.
More photogenic, let the camera love me like I love it.
More confident about where I am in life right now. 

I can be more like her. 
I am her. I’m just not there yet. 
The future me is financially stable in a pretty house in the countryside. 
The future me understands that education is always available, it doesn’t have to all be learned now.
The future me looks back to now and says “Relax. Stop worrying about things that you have no control over.” 

I want to be more like her. 
The present me orders foods she’s never heard of, just to see if she’ll like them. 
The present me takes trips that scare her because she wants to prove to herself that she can.
The present me runs too hard, too fast, too long, for mental stress relief. Even on injuries. 
The present me doesn’t have spending money, because those coins are being stored away for flights to Boston; Prince George;  School. 
The present me is happy, occasionally lonely, and likes to spend time with herself. 

I want to be more like her. 

*Two weeks ago, I sent a photo to my little sister who promptly replied saying how much she disliked herself in the picture. I told her “You are the person who has to spend the most time with yourself. If you have to spend every second with someone you don’t like, its going to be a very hard life. Learn to love yourself. Find pieces of you that you adore and find parts of you that you want to change, and get excited to celebrate yourself.” 
    Too many friends of mine do not do things alone. They think it’s weird to go out for dinner by yourself, or go downtown with no plans – by yourself, or to do anything outside of their own home on their own. I find that so sad because at some point in everybody’s life, you end up alone for a short while. And when you go out to eat by yourself, you can choose to make that experience sad and awkward, or you can choose to make it enjoyable and pleasant. 
Date yourself, World. Because you will spend more time with you than anyone else will. 
All my love, 
Sarah

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