5 Things I Hope I Never Do On Reality TV Game Show

My summer has been spent watching The Amazing Race Canada (my brother fought a good fight to win third place; watching him was really exciting.) and now I’ve been drawn into the original Amazing Race as they celebrate their 25th Season. The first difference I noticed is that the American teams are far more dramatic than the Canadian teams. There are a couple that are chill and are simply excited; however, too many of them come across as stereotypes, and they all yell all the time!

“OH MY GAWD THEY STOLE OUR PEN!”
“WHUT THE HAYELL! I CAN”T FIGURE THIS OUT!
“AH HATE THE BEACH!”

Without further ado, here are five things I hope, I pray, I will never do if I am to compete on a reality television game show.

1. Scream.
My ears are bleeding from listening to these people scream. Excitement! Agony! Frustration! Excitement! Enthusiasm.. excitement. If its an emotion, it’s accompanied with a high pitched holler from the depths of their vocal chords.
I will  try to hold my screams in until the cameras are turned off.

2. Jump.
 When the girls jump, their boobs bounce and it looks painful. Also, all the energy is being used to race or survive or be big brother, whatever. Jumping is the second scream and equally as annoying to watch in a montage.
Unless I’m on a trampoline, jumping is unnecessary.

3. hand flap.
If I could create a GIF I would. Picture arms bent with wrists at shoulder level and the only part of the body moving is the hands. The hand flaps are a common occurrence at thhe Pit stops or elimination stages (More often when the flapper isn’t the one being eliminated.) The top three points combined are usually the winner’s reaction.

4. Blame other teams.
“They played dirty pointing the other direction.”
“he pushed me out of the cab and scratched my arm.”
In reality, the pointing was an exaggerated failed attempt at misdirection, and there was no push or scratch. If I feel that blaming someone else for my loss is the right thing to do, I need to get off reality tv and go read a book on fate.

5. Be over confident in my skills.
The biggest flaw I see teams make in these shows is failure in what people never expected to fail in. The runners are the last because of some unforeseen obstacle, the stunt drivers haven’t driven in real rain, and the hikers haven’t used navigational equipment from the 1700’s. If you think you’re going to hit it out of the ballpark you up your chances of being hit out of the game. Expect the unexpected and keep an open mind.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s