In two and a half months I will embark on a journey I have successfully remained distanced from until now. I will go back to school. Between rent and travel and eating, my tips from serving are stretched pretty thin. My solution was scholarships. So I signed up on websites and started doing surveys and applying. After two hours of all this I realized that most of what I was applicable for had a deadline of last week. I literally missed things by a week.
So heres praying that I win something from the two or three that I was still able to apply for.
Just think how great it would be if we could make a living just by being good at something. I could sing! I could dance and act! I was the redheaded trifecta growing up and now I can’t use any of that to make me money. (On second thought, I could. But I think I’d be broken up with and disowned. Darn.) Mostly it costs me money. I now understand the bitterness and jealousy that my studying friends seethed with when they talked about the girls partying away their free ride through college. And I haven’t even started!
I’m confident though that things will all work out. Someone once used words to hurt me by saying
“Your dad told me you never finish anything you start. I don’t know why I thought this time would be different.”
Although those words stung, I’ve been more conscious of the things I do and discontinue. For school, quitting or backing out isn’t an option. I know I will get out what I put in, so focus and hard work will have to be the forefront of my life. Balancing school and work and not losing my cool will take a lot of discipline; but hey, self improvement is always a good adventure.
All of my fun life changes start around January.
In 2013 I went to Spain and traveled for 6 months by myself. I came home, got a couple jobs, and began a new life in a new city.
In 2014 I was a month into cautiously stepping towards a new relationship. Now I have the greatest friend I could imagine and I’ve laughed more this year than I have in the past three.
In 2015 I’m going to school. I’m probably going to
cry and rip my hair out find unique adult solutions to dealing with stress more next year than I have the past three.
One day I’ll be pushing my darling munchkins out the door into the big world and I will get to tell them
“It’s not as scary as you think it is. Even when you think you’re done for, you can get up and keep going. I did.”
Cheers to planning things that seem way over our heads and jumping into them with all of our hearts.
Happy Thanksgiving, Canada. Top-o-the-mornin’ to you, World.
All my love, Sarah